A pre-review of my book by somebody who never read it.
those are the best kind of reviews, aren’t they? and it’s not even written by my mom.
So there is an internet site which analyzes your writing. They apply an algorithm to compare you with the styles of known writers. It’s called I Write Like.
‘I write like Hemingway” somebody proudly said.
I want to see if I can submit a sample of actual Hemingway and see if Ernest writes like Hemingway. It’s probably been done though. I circled back and submitted the following and sure enough, the machine said I wrote like Hemingway….
There was a recent newspaper article about somebody who submitted an already-published piece to The New Yorker and it got rejected. Plagiarism can only get you so far.
In the meantime, I submitted something to I Write Like from my own unpublished novel, and it gave the name, after about five minutes of churning. I felt guilty, and a vision appeared – some distant mainframe was smoking and overheating, alarms were going off, and the reactor was being scrammed.
The guy who wrote Hitchhiker’s Guide to the galaxy. Sci-Fi.
Okay, so what, exactly, does that imply? First, it makes me want to go to the bookstore and revisit the section with his books.
It was quite engaging, though it started off with:
There is a fine art to writing like the late great Douglas Adams (late not because he is dead but because he is usually tardy due to his numerous mid-morning naps, quick baths, Bovril sandwiches, mid-afternoon naps, more quick baths, and attempts to avoid deadlines and appointments). Writing like Douglas Adams is not unlike slamming your head several times against a stucco wall. You get people’s attention and you have a horrid headache when it is all over.
This article will attempt to assist the above-average, run-of-the-mill, common, every-day hitch-hiker in how to impress his or her peers with delusions of Adamsness, rounded with a swift slam into a stucco wall.
Author (of the above analysis):